American Idol Top 9: Elimination

Hey America, congratulations! You have no good excuse for leaving Kristy Lee Cook in the competition this long – SHAME! – but you definitely got it right this week. Booting pint-sized Ramiele Malubay (possibly the most fashion-challenged person I’ve ever seen on television next to Bai Ling) from the Idol stage last night was a just and proper ousting. I applaud you for the first time since we hit the Top 12. In fact, your bottom three was absolutely spot on…and unintentionally provided possibly the funniest moment all season.

Tiny Ramiele, sandwiched between the boobs of two blonde giants named Kristy Lee and Brooke White, sloooooowly looked heavenward and gave the most comical “what the heck is going on and how in the world did I get here?” look that I have ever seen. My roommate and I immediately started chanting “one of these things is not like the other, not like the other…” Way to set up the comedy, America. I approve.

Since hitting the big stage, it’s been glaringly obvious that Ramiele just isn’t on the same level as the other remaining contestants. How she managed to outlast Chikezie is a complete mystery (only slightly less puzzling than the “how did Kristy Lee even make the Top 12 at all?” conundrum). Her song choices fit her awkwardly and were almost always stale leftovers from Idols past. She never quite delivered on the second half of the “tiny person, big voice” label that Paula stuck her with. Also, the American Idol makeover boat seemed to miss her completely…I know that’s secondary to the singing, but let’s face it, it still matters. So, farewell Ramiele. See you on tour.

Kristy Lee didn’t sell her horse to pay for her ticket to Idol auditions. She traded it for some voodoo magic. That is literally the only explanation I will accept for why she is still in the competition. Country music, as Randy would say, is her "wheelhouse” and she still failed to impress Tuesday night. Some will blame poor song choice (long, complicated story songs should not be condensed into 90 seconds) but I blame the fact that she’s not a very good singer. Assuming Idol Gives Back week is a free pass, hopefully we’ll finally be saying goodbye to her the week after.

Brooke’s place in the bottom three this week is akin to Jason Castro’s placement there last week…it was really just a warning. Nothing to worry about, she’ll probably won’t find herself there next time…blah blah I’m bored. Which is usually how I feel when watching Brooke perform, so that’s par for the course. Brooke sang “Jolene” perfectly well if it were a song about puppies and sunshine. But it’s not: it’s about begging a woman not to steal your man. Might not want to smile while you’re singing it. Just a thought.

Two days later, I have no idea who the top performer of the week was. No one particularly “wow”-ed me, but everyone who escaped the bottom three was solid.

David Cook (thankfully okay after being taken to the hospital Tuesday night with high blood pressure and heart palpitations) arranged “Little Sparrow” himself and gave another strong performance. In my opinion, it wasn’t his best, but he continues to take risks and show off his range as a singer and is still the only Idol I can see paying money to go see.

This picture is entirely self-indulgent. Haircut = big win.

Michael Johns continued his climb back into the top tier with a gorgeous bluesy take on “It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right.” He was pitch perfect and charismatic (so much that I’m choosing to ignore the ascot) and I loved every second of his performance.

Yes, Michael Johns. You are all right.

Carly Smithson’s take on “Here You Come Again” was just plain great. She and Archie have the purest voices in the competition this year, and on a song like this her strengths really shine. I’m still waiting for her transcendent performance, though. It just seems like there’s still something she’s holding back and I want to see what it is! C’mon Carly!

You look like a pirate, but you sing like whoa!

I liked Jason Castro’s “Travelin’ Thru” quite a bit. It’s my favorite performance of his since “Hallelujah.” Great song choice for him and he looked incredibly at ease performing it up on stage. Plus, it was just a joy to listen to: smooth and light and pitch perfect.

That’s it. I’m totally and completely over the David Archuleta hoopla. Until he gets the same criticism as everyone else for doing the same thing week after week, I refuse to take him seriously. Yes, it was another ballad, beautifully sung…but Archie, I’m bored. Can he sing anything else? If Archie sang something up tempo would his carefully-crafted persona crumble before our eyes? I’m not convinced that he’s not a really amazing one-trick pony…and that just doesn’t cut it for me. Sorry.

Syesha Mercado, stop it with the Whitney. If you’d stuck with the milder, mellower version of “I Will Always Love You” all the way through, you would’ve been solid. But you didn’t and…mistake. That is all.

Tune in next week for Idol Gives Back, when my roommate and I will probably cry like babies through the whole damn thing.