Recap: Idols LIVE!

I had the good fortune to see the American Idols Tour 2008 last night at the Staples Center. I went with my roommate, and we spent the entire night acting like ridiculous 12-year-old girls. It was fabulous.

I am going to attempt to recount my thoughts (with help from my twitter) from the concert. Hopefully pictures and video will follow.

I have to say, all of the Idols sounded just as good, if not better, live. I was pleasantly surprised, because there’s less “helpful voice magic” live than on television. In particular, Ramiele and Papa Johns, two of the top 10 I was never that sold on, wowed me live.

There was a dancing PopTart in the pre-show with Corey the warm-up guy. I wish I were joking. That’s all I really want to say on that.

This is the cardboard cutout I posed inappropriately with. Word.

I love Chikezie. After David Cook, he was my favorite Top 12 contestant. I was a little let down by his set, to be honest. He sang beautifully; his falsetto in particular was absolutely gorgeous live. I just wish he’d actually done at least one of the numbers he performed on Idol (“She’s a Woman,” anyone?). He did a great job, but as the opening performer he failed to draw me into the show as much as I would have liked.

I never cared for Ramiele when she was on Idol, but live her voice is incredibly powerful. Her fashion sense, however, hasn’t improved a single bit. To wit, my Twitter: “I think Ramiele is blind. That is the only way I can explain her outfit. Where are the fug girls when you need them?” Still, I really enjoyed her set, especially her final song, Maroon 5’s “If I Never See Your Face Again.”

Michael Johns is sexy. I don’t find him the least bit attractive, but wow is that man a bit of walking sex. He’s just charismatic, and when he declared that he arranged “this next, bluesy number just for the ladies” the whole place became all a-twitter. I waffled back and forth about him over the course of the season, but live he is FANTASTIC. His whole set was Idol on repeat, only much, much better. In particular, he rocked the hell out of “Dream On,” the song that actually got him booed from the show.

I’m not gonna lie. I left to get a pizza and a water (and take a picture of myself inappropriately touching a cardboard cutout of David Cook) during Kristy Lee Cook’s set. But she actually sang “God Bless America” as one of her three songs…can you really blame me? I thought not.

Carly Smithson is my hero. She is absolutely beautiful from head-to-toe and if you thought her voice was powerful on TV…she almost brought the place down with her power notes. I think of all the Idols, she chose her set list best. “Bring Me To Life,” “Crazy On You” and “I Drove All Night” complimented her voice perfectly. I was mesmerized and she gave me chills more than once.

Hands down, my favorite song of the night was performed by Brooke White. She rose up from a trap door in the floor playing the piano and singing “Let It Be,” which only gets better for me every time I hear her sing it. Nobody talked all that much, but she was adorably sweet and dorky and danced (fairly well, actually) while she sang Fiest’s “1 2 3 4.” However, it was her version of Coldplay’s “Yellow” that just stopped me cold. It’s really rare that a song actually makes me stop everything I’m doing – even thinking – and just listen. I was mesmerized and nearly moved to tears…and that NEVER happens to me.

Jason Castro is the most adorable person alive. I resisted his pull until last night, where I just fell in love with him completely. His stripped-down version of “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley was my second favorite of the night, and just seemed so very him. Listening to him perform “Daydream” live was also a highlight…because it just suits him perfectly.

I wish I could explain why, despite the fact that Syesha Mercado is one hell of a singer…no one seems to care about her. Her set was unbelievably strong; high energy, powerhouse vocals and a dress that I wish I could steal. Her final number, “Listen,” brought the house down. Definitely one of the Top 5 performances of the night. I think I might slowly be starting to love her.

David Archuleta rose, somewhat sheepishly, from the floor playing the piano as well. Only he got a smoke machine to help him out. Oh, and thousands upon thousands of screeching little girls (and plenty of women old enough to know better…like my roommate) helped herald his arrival as well. As my Twitter explained “Archie arrives via smoke machine and a fancy trap door. I’ve gone deaf.” I am happy to state that he is brilliant live. His version of “Angels” by Robbie Williams was one of my favorite numbers this season and it was gorgeous live. His mash-up of “Stand by Me” and “Beautiful Girls” was great as well. He seems to be having more fun on the tour than he ever appeared to on the show and I LOVE that. It makes him so much more fun to watch.

This is his tour outfit, apparently. What a hottie.

There is a video (that will never see the light of day if my roommate wants to live) of me absolutely flipping out when they announced David Cook. I believe I actually screamed more than once and jumped up and down (and replied “MY FUTURE HUSBAND! AHHHH!” when she asked me who it was I was screaming for). Bless my roommate, she stood up and freaked out with me…because that’s what good friends do. They don’t let you look ridiculous by yourself.

Seeing him live, finally…beyond words. Seriously. He was just…perfection. *happy sigh* His five-song set was really a mini rock show. Rocker Boy knows how to work a crowd like a front man and he pulled out all the stops. Working the stage, rocking out with the guitar, great banter with the crowd…I can’t wait for his solo tour where he’s not as crowded and is able to really take the audience on a journey with him…because it’s going to be amazing.

He sweetly dedicated “My Hero” by the Foo Fighters, the only song we hadn’t seen him perform before, to his brother. “Hello” and “Billie Jean” were showstoppers, and I had lots of fun every time the camera zoomed in on his backside. So pretty…

All in all, it was a really great show. Better than I was expecting, to be quite honest. I’m sad that I didn’t know there was a fan line after the show, because apparently David Cook spent quite a bit of time signing autographs and taking pictures and talking with fans. What a sweet boy.

Idols Tour 2008

I am such a squealing fangirl right now, because in just a few short days, I get to see this up close and in person:




I will be the girl attempting to sneak on stage to hug David Cook...though I promised several of my friends that I wouldn't get arrested. Dilemmas.

Anyway, for the curious (and those who don't mind being spoiled) here is the set list for the tour.

Chikezie Eze:
"I Believe to My Soul" (Donnie Hathaway)
"Caught Up" (Usher)
"So High" (John Legend)

Ramiele Malubay:
"I Want You Back" (Jackson 5)
"Love Will Lead You Back" (Taylor Dayne)
"If I Never See Your Face" (Rhianna)

Michael Johns:
"We Will Rock You"/"We Are the Champions" (Queen)
"It's All Wrong, but It's Alright" (Dolly Parton)
"Dream On" (Aerosmith)

Kristy Lee Cook:
"Squeezing the Love Outta You" (Carolyn Dawn Johnson)
"God Bless the USA" (Lee Greenwood)
"Cowgirls"

Carly Smithson:
"Bring Me to Life" (Evanescence)
"Crazy on You" (Heart)
"I Drove All Night" (Cyndi Lauper)

Brooke White
"Let it Be" (Beatles)
"1234" (Fiest)
"Yellow" (Coldplay)

Jason Castro:
"Over the Rainbow" "
"Crazy" (Gnarls Barkley)
"Daydream" (Lovin' Spoonful)

Syesha Mercado:
"Umbrella" (Rhianna)
"If I Aint Got It" (Alicia Keys)
"Listen"

David Archuleta:
"Angels" (Robbie Williams)
"Apologize" (One Republic)
"Stand by Me" (Ben E. King)
"When You Say You Love Me" (Josh Groban)

David Cook:
"Hello" (Lionel Richie)
"Time of My Life"
"My Hero"
"Billie Jean" (Michael Jackson)
"I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" (Aerosmith)

Cook wins American Idol

David Cook after his win.

David Cook won American Idol.

David Cook also appeared sans pants in a Guitar Hero commercial.

Excuse me for a moment, my brain is broken.

…

DAVID COOK WON AMERICAN IDOL!!!!

Overcome with emotion. David Cook rocks.

I’m sorry, right now I have no journalistic, equal-opportunity integrity…I am so freakin’ happy right now I almost can’t take it.

Tuesday night’s final performances were amazing. I’m pleased that Simon Cowell apologized to Cook for unfairly putting him through the ringer the night before. While I don’t think he was “disrespectful,” he was definitely overly harsh.

Nice guys, fantastic singers. What a final two.

David Archuleta absolutely blew me away Tuesday night. For the first time all season, Archie went out on that stage and actually looked like he was fighting for that victory, and he was all the better for it. He was full of energy and charisma and the sheer power of his voice left me speechless. He gave three truly stunning performances, and I have no problem admitting that, overall, he came out on top. But just barely.

David Cook’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” was one of the greatest performances I’ve seen all season. It was absolutely gorgeous, powerful with emotion and just a stunning achievement. His second song wasn’t as successful, but I applaud him for challenging himself by taking on a new song for his third and final performance. The night was a lot closer than Simon made it out to be…both of them absolutely blew me away.

Wednesday’s show didn’t seem nearly as padded as I thought it would. Some of my favorite highlights:

- The very end of the embarrassing, extended “Love Guru” sequence, where Mike Myers tried to lather up David Cook and shave off his beard. Cook leans away and a giant glob of shaving cream drops off his face…right into the helpfully waiting hand of David Archuleta, who grabbed it and moved it off camera without missing a beat. Cue Cook and me laughing so hard we almost fall off our chairs. That, coupled with their hilarious exchange at the end of the Top 3 American Idol Extra clip package, screams “amazing comedy duo” to me.

- David Cook’s Guitar Hero commercial. Especially the extended one minute version. Hubba hubba.

Thank you, Idol gods.

- The duet of “The Letter” between Carly Smithson and Michael Johns. It absolutely rocked, and they both sound great together. They also dueted on the Today Show and were equally as awesome.

- David Cook’s goofy dance halfway through his duet of “Sharp Dressed Man” with ZZ Top. I heart him.

- David Archuleta’s duet with One Republic. What a kid and what a voice.

- Bringing out the guy in the cape who sang that made up I Am Your Brother” song in the auditions to sing on stage with the USC Marching Band. It made that guy’s life, and Randy and Paula getting up on stage to goofily dance along sort of made mine. SO WEIRD.

When they finally got down to announcing the winner, Ryan very dramatically stretched it out as long as possible. “The winner of…American Idol…2008…is…David……….Cook!”

*cue me screaming and jumping up-and-down in my living room, then hugging my roommate like I’d just won the lottery. Yes, really.*

Rocker Boy looks blown away. Because he is a classy human being, he defers for a few moments to Archie, who gets a healthy round of applause. Archie handles his second place finish with poise and grace, fading from the stage and into the Top 12 crowd to allow Cook his moment. David Cook, overcome with emotion, breaks down on stage. I’m not going to lie, I teared up myself. What a sweetheart he is. What a moment for him.

America's first look at David Cook. He had me at "Tommy..."

I called it from the beginning, and I’m so happy that I was right. His winning song wasn’t quite as bad as I was expecting. He did a great job signing it at least and managed to hold himself together, surrounded by the Top 12 and supported by Papa Johns, until the very end. It’s impossible to predict what the future hold for him, but I hope it involved Kelly Clarkson-Carrie Underwood levels of success. A rocker finally won American Idol.

This show reeled me in completely. I am amazed (but not surprised) by how big of a fan girl I became. There really isn’t anything quite like American Idol. For all the bad things you can say about it, it’s absolutely mesmerizing. I cannot WAIT until January. I know every subsequent season won’t quite live up to the joy of “my first time,” but I hope it’s another hell of a ride.

Congratulations, David Cook. You deserve every bit of your success. See you on tour, baby (I’ll be the girl trying to sneak by security…)!

"Time of My Life"

American Idol: The David-David Finale

Last woman standing. Good on you, Syesha!

I was almost convinced that Syesha might manage to unseat one of the Davids for a spot in the Top 2. Almost, but not quite. I had to give her the benefit of the doubt, considering that she outlasted Brooke, Carly and Jason despite never completely winning over the judges, the critics or the American public. She was Idol’s version of the little engine that could, outlasting the competition and continuing to climb higher and higher despite having the odds stacked against her.

It helped that, as Randy said, she peaked late in the competition. Whether it was strategy or just the fact that it took her a while to really get comfortable up there (considering she’s an actress/performer, I’m a mite suspicious), Syesha shone brighter and brighter in recent weeks. Of course, that could have been the sequined outfits she recently became so fond of.

Regardless of her improved performances of late, even she didn’t think she had a prayer of breaking up the David-David finale. That was very obvious when the first shot of the show last night showed her without a trace of a smile, looking like she was counting down the 50-odd minutes until her doom in her head.

Her performances Tuesday night didn’t do her any favors, and a lot of it wasn’t her fault. Randy’s choice for her – “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys – was both blatantly obvious and uninspired. Syesha rocked it as much as she could; she’s a technically gifted singer with great stage presence. But a song like that didn’t give her much room to make it her own…and indeed, that’s been the root of her problem all season. She’s never really put a personal stamp on anything she’s sung. Even when she lights up the stage, I can’t help feeling that someone else could’ve done exactly the same thing just as well. Gifted but forgettable. That’s Syesha.

I thought her personal choice, “Fever,” was her best of the night, despite the panning from the judges. It was fun and sassy and beautifully sung. Unfortunately, she was forced to end the night on a very sour note. A song from Happy Feet? Could the producers have made it any more obvious that they were setting her up to fail? It irks me a bit that it appears Syesha wasn’t given a 100% fair shot at cracking the Top 2. I don’t think there’s any way she would have regardless, but for the sake of credibility…

Syesha took her elimination with class and grace, and I like her all the more for it. She delivered a powerhouse final performance and kept her head up high; the last remaining bit of Idol cannon fodder.

Will it be David No. 1...

David Archuleta and David Cook are left, as Simon put it, to have a “humdinger” of a battle next week. Despite having the same name, the two couldn’t have followed more different paths on their way to the finals. Archuleta, an immediate crowd favorite, skated through on his adorableness and sheepish puppy demeanor and a voice that is smooth, gorgeous and mature beyond his years. He never met a ballad he didn’t like and earned points for his consistency and mad melisma skills.

...or David No. 2? (You know my vote!)

Cook, on the other hand, was more of a slow burn. A rocker with a soft side, he earned points for being one of the most inventive performers the Idol stage has ever seen. His arrangements, borrowed or original, turned everything from Mariah to Andrew Lloyd Weber on its head…with utterly fantastic results. Neither of them ever saw the Bottom 3, and they’ll face off next week in what I hope will be the closest race Idol has ever seen.

Idol's Top 4: Castro comes up short

Recapping Idol this week is tough (and honestly kind of dull) because the Top 3 seems to be a foregone conclusion. Last night, Jason Castro did everything to get himself booted short of saying flat-out, “Please, America, do not vote for me.”

I have no problem with Jason Castro signing Bob Marley. I take issue with certain artists supposedly being “off limits.” Yes, it’s not the best idea to try and sign Mariah or Whitney, but go for it if that’s what you’re feeling…as long as you understand that you will probably hear the phrase “pale imitation” in your critique.

However, Bob Marley was not a diva. His songs are fantastic, loose, spirited, reggae joints that aren’t vocally exclusive. And, c’mon, who better than Jason Castro to sing “I Shot the Sheriff?” Here’s the thing: Castro appeared to actually really dive into the song. He seemed more energetic and engaged with the song and the audience than I’ve seen him in weeks. That in mind, it’s really weird how, despite that, the song just really did not work. The vocals were all over the place; it was almost like he tried a little too much to channel Marley and ended up letting the song get away from him.

I'll miss the Jason Castro face. :-(

I was heartened when he started “Mr. Tambourine Man,” because I dug the laid back, folky vibe he infused it with. His voice sounded stronger and on key. He still seemed comfortable and engaged. I thought he was going to redeem himself in the eyes of the… “and the uh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh….” Oh, Jason. You just shoved that last nail right into your own coffin. Nononononononono. Simon, however blunt, was right. Even though the other three contestants were just “good” last night, I just don’t see any way he’ll avoid being the fourth place finisher.

I love Duran Duran. I love David Cook. How could I not love David Cook singing “Hungry Like the Wolf”? Sure, it was a fairly faithful interpretation (and he was forced to labor under the “this is the rocker’s week so he better be beyond amazing” weight dropped on him last Wednesday night) but he did a very solid job. The song suited his growly power vocals incredibly well, and I’ll confess my heart was all a-twitter when he stalked across the stage, promising “I’m on the hunt, I’m after you.” No, it wasn’t as groundbreaking an arrangement/performance as “Little Sparrow” or “Hello,” but when you’re singing songs that are “in your wheelhouse” can you really expect them to be?

His arrangement of “Baba O’Reilly” was much more inventive. He started the song on a slow build and slowly upped the tempo and the intensity until he gave his signature howl on “They’re all wasted – teenage waste!” However, I think 90 seconds wasn’t quite enough to give the song the proper slow build and crescendo that it needed to be truly fantastic. Still, Cook continues to be the most solid, creative performer on the Idol stage and he bounced back admirably from the criticism he received for his first song. To me, he’s still the one to beat.

I’ve stopped being impressed by the fact that David Archuleta is a precious, precocious 17-year-old moppet with an “aw shucks” demeanor and a beautiful voice that seems like it should come from a seasoned 40-year-old performer. Still, during an uneven night his “Stand By Me” and “Love Me Tender” were enough to easily make him the strongest overall performer of the night. I think the judges are almost always too quick to heap praise on Archie’s head, and that held true tonight.

Best of the night, no doubt.

His “Stand By Me” was gorgeous…and completely predictable. Archie is still too full of melisma for me, but he hit every single note with a seemingly effortless purity and grace. Best performance of the night. I wasn’t as big of a fan of his “Love Me Tender,” but that’s possibly because I have a very special place in my heart for that Elvis classic. There’s a depth and complexity Elvis brings to the ballad that a kid like Archie just couldn’t convey…his delivery fell a bit flat for me (and so did his two high notes at the end).

I wish Syesha Mercado would stop singing songs that were not only iconic, but have been covered by countless Idol wannabes of years past. She brought great energy and spirit to “Proud Mary,” but I don’t think she quite has the gravitas in her voice to pull off the Motown power hit. I was waiting for her to kick the song into high gear and it always fell just a bit short for me. Still, she’s come to life over the past couple weeks and I give her a lot of credit for persevering and continuing to improve late in the competition.

I found her version of Sam Cooke’s “A Change is Gonna Come” beautiful but forgettable. I’ve said many times that I just can’t quite figure Syesha out, and I’m going to have to stop trying…it’s never gonna happen. She’ll make the Top 3 and, barring an amazing upset, bow out gracefully (having gone much further than anyone expected) for the all-David finale.

Idol's Top 6: Syesha breaks out, Brooke breaks down

Andrew Lloyd Webber, you are a cheeky bastard. I kind of want to write this whole review around you. But I won’t, because no one would read it. They want to hear about how Syesha blew the roof off the place last night, Brooke continued her televised mental breakdown and David Cook almost moved me to tears.

I will say that ALW was by far the best mentor of the year. He didn’t coddle the contestants or blindly give them oodles of praise. He offered constructive advice and criticism, even suggesting (rightly) that Carly pick a different song. The best part, of course, was his thinly-veiled flirting with David Cook. Watching Rocker Boy blush and go “Well, I’m 25, so…” when ALW told him to sing to him like he was the most gorgeous 17-year-old girl in the world made me laugh until my sides hurt. ALW, good on you. Though last night proved to be rather polarizing and bewildering as a whole, you were absolutely fabulous, dahling.

Anyway, Syesha Mercado is up first, singing “One Rock and Roll too Many” from Starlight Express, a musical I have never seen or heard, though I’m told it’s about trains who come to life and fall in love. Also there are people on roller skates. I wish I were making this up. I have a sneaking suspicion ALW may have been going through a Sgt. Pepper period while conceiving and writing this. Just a thought.

Her performance was sexy, confident and absolutely crackling with energy and attitude. Syesha’s stance that she is an “actress-singer” was tested tonight, and man did she deliver. Musicals require a big voice and an even bigger stage presence. You have to act and emote with your entire body to a level that would be considered ridiculous on television or film. Syesha has always had attitude and personality to spare, but never in a good way. Last night, she found the perfect conduit for it. I was lounging on my couch in my pajamas at the end of a ridiculously long day, and I had to stop myself from giving her a standing ovation in my living room. The fact that the judges didn’t praise her like she was the second coming was a huge head-scratcher (of course, as the night went on that became a trend…ignoring the mistakes of the favorites and being far too harsh on the unchosen few).

Broadway star potential: realized

Poor Jason Castro was at a huge disadvantage from the get go this week. He and Brooke do not have the “big voices” required to sing Broadway numbers. So, I knew I wasn’t going to get soaring power notes and big runs and huge chest voice out of Jason’s version of “Memory.” I give him a lot of credit for deciding that the best way to go was to keep the emotion and power of the song but tone down the theatrics of it to make it something that suited his style. Unfortunately, his style is pretty much the anti-Broadway, which is perhaps why it was received so poorly by the judges. It didn’t fit the night, but it definitely fit him, and I think that’s more important. I felt like Jason connected to the emotion of the song very well and conveyed it in his voice and delivery. It was good, but it wasn’t great and it definitely wasn’t Broadway, which is probably why he’ll end up in the bottom three tonight.

Brooke White's tendency to warble a bit here and there during most of her songs is a part of why I could never fully jump on her bandwagon (that and the fact that she’s what I would become if my nightmares came true). Week by week, as she slowly breaks down before our very eyes on national television, the warbling has gotten worse. Last night, she sounded like she was gargling through “You Must Love Me.”

Of course, all of that came after she messed up the lyrics, stopped the band and then made them start over. I’m pretty sure my jaw hung open for about five minutes after that. The reboot obviously rattled her (but then again, what doesn’t these days? I’m pretty sure she’s the kind of person who leaps ten feet in the air and trembles when someone says “Hello.”). Her performance was a huge mess, warbly and uncomfortable and nervous and off kilter. The judges, obviously sensing that she’d break into a million pieces live on the air if someone said too harsh a word, were way too kind in their critique. Huge props to Paula for calling her out on starting over, though she’s Paula so it was said in the sweetest way possible. Simon patting her on the head by agreeing that he would’ve done the same thing in her position just meant my jaw hung open even longer.

Say bye bye to Brooke, America.

David Archuleta forgot the lyrics again, something I didn’t notice until my second viewing this morning on YouTube. Know why I didn’t notice? Because the camera conveniently cut away from his face the second he “went up” on his lines. Once is bad enough, Archie, but twice? And from a kid who has been performing since he could hold a microphone in his tiny toddler hands? Absolutely inexcusable. Look, props to him for taking a grand musical number sung by a girl (and a first soprano at that) and turning it into a crooning, adult contemporary song. We all know the kid can sing, and sing incredibly well, but I remain unconvinced that he should wear the idol crown…though the judges and producers obviously feel differently. Archie was given the lofty praise that should’ve been directed at Syesha, and the fact that not one judge called him out on his flub? Huge thumbs down.

Carly Smithson came back to life during last night’s performance of “Jesus Christ Superstar.” After weeks of looking uncomfortable and dour and tense, Carly let loose and put on a rousing, rocking show. As Simon said, she got a tad too shouty and borderline shrill on a few notes, but overall she was fantastic and reminded me why I picked her as one of my Idol frontrunners way back in Hollywood Week. Also, I want the shirt she had made.

This is what my brain did as soon as David Cook started singing and fixed those sultry eyes on me: G&^%&$R%Y$%^@!!!!! I was a little concerned with his song selection, but damn if he didn’t pull it off again. ALW said it was his most sensual, sexy song and I agree…if it’s sung well. Not only do you need to have the big, broad voice to pull this off…you really have to be able to just pour emotion into it. His “Music of the Night” nearly moved me to tears, and I’m definitely not the type.

I see you looking at me with those eyes...

I’m really glad he didn’t “rock it out” (with the exception of that last glory note). He’s already proved that he can rock, but this week he expand his range even further, showing that he can deliver a beautiful, soaring ballad with the same level of competency and success.

Bottom three is getting nearly impossible to predict this late in the competition, but I’m going to go Brooke, Jason and Carly…though I think it should be Archie instead of Carly.

Idol Elimination: KLC, I'll Actually Miss You

Have fun in Nashville, KLC.

I have to admit, my respect for Kristy Lee Cook shot up exponentially watching her last night. She was definitely well past her Idol expiration date, but I really don’t think she deserved to go home based on her performance during Mariah Week. Of course, at this point may people are voting for their favorite regardless (or for the body of work as opposed to the most recent week alone). On the other hand, humans tend to have pretty short memories…so her elimination was a bit of a puzzler for me.

She was the weakest performer left with zero shot of taking it all, but since her massacring of “Eight Days A Week,” KLC’s performances steadily improved, to the point that I really enjoyed Tuesday night’s country-tinged “Forever.” She won me over the point that I hoped incredibly hard that Brooke White would be the one going home. Her “Hero” was painful to watch, and she appears to be creeping ever closer to a breakdown with every passing week. It was cute when Brooke defended KLC to Simon, but once Ryan sent Syesha Mercado to safety, it was pretty obvious who was a goner. Little Miss Vanilla hasn’t worn out her welcome…yet.

Even though it was pretty clear Carly Smithson wasn’t in the bottom three, I wished America could magically change her mind as I watched her chastise Simon for being to hard on her and then desperately beckon David Archuleta over to her side of the stage like he was a puppy (which, okay…). Desperation is not an attractive look. In fact, I think the stink of it has clouded my mind the past few weeks. A second listen to “Without You” revealed it to be not nearly as bad as I thought. In fact, it was pretty good. I just couldn't hear it over the part of her that was screaming, "LIKE ME! GOOD GOD, PLEASE LIKE ME!"

I didn’t believe for a second that either Jason Castro or David Cook were in the bottom three, so I was a bit confused when Ryan started pulling the “you stand to my right, you stand to my left” bit. I think this week’s reveal was the silliest, most ridiculous thing I’ve seen on Idol yet…and I’ve seen some pretty odd things (people in capes, scary laughter, pratfalls, “Eight Days A Week” as a country song, etc.). Casting David Archuleta as the “deciding vote” topped it, though. Of course he immediately plopped down in the middle of the stage with an “aw, shucks guys” chuckle and shrug. He’s not stupid and he’s David Archuleta for the love of pete. You actually expected him to make a decision without his daddy present?

KLC really won me over, however, with her sing off. Perched atop the judges’ desk right in front of Simon, she unabashedly sang the first verse directly into his obviously uncomfortable face. I actually hooted with laughter. Add that to the fact that she spun around and walked away right after delivering the tweaked line, “'Still I burn on and on/ All of my life/ Only for a good comment from you” and it was absolute perfection. I kind of fell in love with her right there.

Respect, Kristy Lee. Respect.

In the end, it was time for Kristy Lee to go, I know. I just didn’t realize until she actually got the boot how much her self-deprecating sense of humor (“Kristy’s seat,” anyone?) and ability to keep her head up high despite the waves of dislike that were thrown at her every week actually earned her a lot of my respect, in the end. I wish her well post-Idol and look forward to what she brings to the tour this summer.

Andrew Lloyd Weber week is up next…and again I am worried. Not about what Archie will sing (c’mon, it’s totally “Any Dream Will Do”) but about what the heck my Rocker Boy is gonna sing. Then again, I worried about Mariah Week, and we know how that turned out.

Idol's Top 7: Long Live the Divas!

I went into Mariah week fearing for the three remaining men in the Idol race. Mariah Carey is pretty much the epitome of the power-voiced pop diva. Her vocal range stretches eight octaves, and her astonishing ability to hit power notes and pull off ridiculous runs is second-to-none. Moreover, she infuses that strange and wonderful power into almost every single one of her songs. Restraint is not in the Carey repertoire (that is not a dig, I grew up on Mariah and I have mad respect for her as a vocalist).

Seriously, though: why is everyone leaning?

In a season where no one has really stood out as a diva-in-training (though Syesha has struggled valiantly to wedge herself into that category), it seemed a bit ill-fitting to have Mariah Carey mentor the Idols in general, male or female. At the beginning of the show, Simon pointed out that the women might actually be in for a tougher time because they would have to endure the direct comparison to the woman herself (and, this was unspoken, but it was there: “from what I’ve seen of the remaining women, no one will come close to living up to the Mariah standard”).

As usual, Simon turned out to be right (you smug bastard). While this was a good week overall for the finalists – indeed, for the first time I can remember, no one was downright bad – the men shone.

Raise your hand if you are surprised that, out of every single song in Mariah’s songbook, David Archuleta picked a message song with the Bible in it. Anyone? No? Didn’t think so. Here’s the thing: painful falsetto aside, he sang it very well. I was able to discern that much despite being incredibly distracted by the fact that he (or Papa Archuleta, who knows at this point) decided to don leather pants. If there’s one thing we know Archie can do, it’s runs. Of all three guys left, he was the most well-equipped out of the gate to tackle Mariah, and he delivered. Still, I continue to be under whelmed and slightly bored.

Just because I couldn't find a picture of the leather pants.

I got incredibly worried after I read the TMZ leak that reported David Cook would be singing “Always Be My Baby.” It is the epitome of the syrupy sweet pop song and the idea of Rocker Boy singing it made about as much sense as a hooker at the opera (sorry, Julia Roberts). But, once again, he showed just how good he is at choosing songs and arranging them (or finding existing arrangements) to suit his own personal style. His version was a slowed-down, slightly emo take that exploded at the end with his trademark power rock and roll howl. Other than one or two minor note problems, he was absolutely fantastic. The performance of the night, made extra touching by the fact that he was brought to tears singing for his cancer-stricken brother, who was in the audience.

The power note face: now familiar to millions.

Jason Castro came in a very close second with his bongo-backed, coffeehouse take on “I Don’t Wanna Cry.” He managed to actually hit his falsetto notes while completely reinventing the song. I almost don’t even know what to say about it, except that after he finished all I said was “YES.” Yes, Jason Castro, I am back on your bandwagon. Yes, I still think you have a bit of a problem connecting to what you’re singing, but you’re so adorably goofy and your voice is so easy to listen to that I forgive you. Bravo.

Even though the women sang well, I’m betting on an all-female bottom three yet again…and I shocked myself when I realized that Kristy Lee Cook probably wouldn’t be one of them.

I actually really liked Kristy Lee’s version of “Forever.” It wasn’t particularly groundbreaking in any way (apart from the minor country twang she infused through it) but her voice was surprisingly strong and tuneful and those power notes were winners. She was good, plain and simple, and her performance earns her the right to stick around another week…and this time not just because of her crafty song choice.

Given her attempts in recent weeks to prove how much of a diva she was by tackling the Whitey/Mariah/Celine oeuvre, this week appeared to be tailor-made for Syesha Mercado. Surprisingly, she chose a lesser-known Mariah song, “Vanishing,” and she sang it well. As Simon said, technically she was very, very good: on pitch, strong, clear, gorgeous. I think what has thus far stopped Syesha from breaking out completely (because I think she and Archie have the best, purest voices left in the competition) is Syesha herself. There’s still something just…off-putting and strange about her that prevents me from connecting to her as a listener. It’s what will ultimately prevent her from winning as well.

I say "WIN" for Syesha.

Carly Smithson, what is your deal? Actually, I honestly don’t care anymore. I love your voice and you were one of my favorites at the beginning of the competition. But after a series of uncomfortable, slightly angry and tense performances…I just don’t know what to do with you. If you don’t look like you’re having fun, no one else will be either. Your “Without You” was good, though you wavered a bit on a few of the longer notes you were holding. But you’ve devolved into kind of a hot mess and it’s so disappointing, because you’re so much better than that. If you survive the week, you’ll be lucky.

Brooke White looked like she was performing on the train tracks, watching a giant locomotive race closer and closer and desperately trying to figure out how to finish “Hero” before she died. Seriously, re-watching her performance you can see (and hear) her get more and more panicked as the song went on. I’m not sure what the cause of her troubles were, exactly, but she fumbled on piano, which made her sing faster and throw her off beat with the music, which made her play faster, which started this vicious circle of badness that just kept getting funnier (if we’re being totally honest). The whole thing was pretty much a mess, and if I were her I’d be worried tonight.

Mariah herself was a decent mentor, if a bit self-indulgent. I appreciate that she actually offered suggestions instead of just lavishing praise…and she did seem genuinely intrigued/flattered by the different perspectives the Idols brought to her songs. Overall, Mariah Week was a success across the board…and I don’t think anyone is more surprised about that than I am.

Idol Gives Back Week Takes From Michael Johns

Ryan Seacrest, he of the shiny smile and surprisingly adept dance moves, became a schoolyard bully last night: first he knocked the wind out of Michael Johns by announcing that he’d received the fewest votes, then he kicked him while he was down with a “will we or won’t we boot you?” tease that ultimately ended in Johns being sent packing.

Lookit! He can't believe Seacrest either!

C’mon Seacrest, was that really necessary? It’s bad enough that you told Michael America loved him the least. Poor MJ, who’d never been in the bottom three before, looked like someone had sucker punched him (it was you, Seacrest, it was YOU!). Then you lifted his hopes by reminding everyone that no one got eliminated last year during Idol Gives Back week. By the time you got to the “but…” part of your little speech, Idol’s top Aussie looked positively green. I was far from Michael Johns’ biggest fan, but shame on you, Seacrest. That kind of cruelty is beneath you.

Michael Johns wasn’t going to win American Idol. Through the semis and his time on the big stage, he never really positively identified himself as a singer and fought a (losing) battle to straddle the rock-and-roll/blues line with varying degrees of success. Following his two strongest performances outside of Hollywood Week (his “Wee Will Rock You/We Are The Champions” medley and Dolly Parton’s “It’s All Wrong, But It’s Allright”) his rendition of “Dream On” was weak by comparison, but by no means awful.

Johns will join Chikezie on the list of “contestants who went home a couple weeks too early.” I can understand how Kristy Lee Cook avoided the axe this week: her performances over the last couple weeks have shown growth and improvement. Indeed, her “Anyway” was her strongest performance to date. She looked comfortable and confident on stage for the first time and it showed. I’m definitely not jumping on the KLC bandwagon (I still think she’ll go in the next two weeks) but she was good this week.

KLC loves America, America says, "eh, she's growing on us."

Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson, on the other hand, deserved to be in the bottom three. What the heck happened to Carly over the past few weeks? She’s on a scary, self-destructive downward spiral. Each week, she stinks more and more of desperation while her performances just plain stink. Her version of “The Show Must Go On” was just an utter mess. She was off beat, awkward, vocally scattered and unhappy. It was wince-worthy and I hate to have to say that, because I really like Carly. She and KLC seem to be following opposite trajectories and I wish they’d switch places already. Bring Back “Come Together!” Carly!

The only other person worthy of any commentary (I was under whelmed by pretty much everyone this week) is David Cook. Who is ridiculously lucky that he didn’t end up in the bottom three. Rocker Boy has proved that he can give stellar performances of other people’s fantastic arrangements and last week he grew even more by delivering a slightly out of character, self-arranged version of “Little Sparrow” that stretched his already broad range of abilities even further. But “Innocent” was just plain bad, Rocker Boy. It was out of your vocal range, which you seemed to realize and attempt (badly) to correct mid-verse. The arrangement was shaky and, for the first time, you looked uncomfortable on stage. I have no doubt that he’ll come back stronger than ever next week but, well…he’s lucky he’s a hottie is all I’m saying.

A small footnote. I don't really have anything to say about Wednesday's Idol except "please give." But I wanted to showcase Annie Lennox's performance of "Many Rivers To Cross" because her performance and video package were the most powerful parts of the event.

American Idol Top 9: Elimination

Hey America, congratulations! You have no good excuse for leaving Kristy Lee Cook in the competition this long – SHAME! – but you definitely got it right this week. Booting pint-sized Ramiele Malubay (possibly the most fashion-challenged person I’ve ever seen on television next to Bai Ling) from the Idol stage last night was a just and proper ousting. I applaud you for the first time since we hit the Top 12. In fact, your bottom three was absolutely spot on…and unintentionally provided possibly the funniest moment all season.

Tiny Ramiele, sandwiched between the boobs of two blonde giants named Kristy Lee and Brooke White, sloooooowly looked heavenward and gave the most comical “what the heck is going on and how in the world did I get here?” look that I have ever seen. My roommate and I immediately started chanting “one of these things is not like the other, not like the other…” Way to set up the comedy, America. I approve.

Since hitting the big stage, it’s been glaringly obvious that Ramiele just isn’t on the same level as the other remaining contestants. How she managed to outlast Chikezie is a complete mystery (only slightly less puzzling than the “how did Kristy Lee even make the Top 12 at all?” conundrum). Her song choices fit her awkwardly and were almost always stale leftovers from Idols past. She never quite delivered on the second half of the “tiny person, big voice” label that Paula stuck her with. Also, the American Idol makeover boat seemed to miss her completely…I know that’s secondary to the singing, but let’s face it, it still matters. So, farewell Ramiele. See you on tour.

Kristy Lee didn’t sell her horse to pay for her ticket to Idol auditions. She traded it for some voodoo magic. That is literally the only explanation I will accept for why she is still in the competition. Country music, as Randy would say, is her "wheelhouse” and she still failed to impress Tuesday night. Some will blame poor song choice (long, complicated story songs should not be condensed into 90 seconds) but I blame the fact that she’s not a very good singer. Assuming Idol Gives Back week is a free pass, hopefully we’ll finally be saying goodbye to her the week after.

Brooke’s place in the bottom three this week is akin to Jason Castro’s placement there last week…it was really just a warning. Nothing to worry about, she’ll probably won’t find herself there next time…blah blah I’m bored. Which is usually how I feel when watching Brooke perform, so that’s par for the course. Brooke sang “Jolene” perfectly well if it were a song about puppies and sunshine. But it’s not: it’s about begging a woman not to steal your man. Might not want to smile while you’re singing it. Just a thought.

Two days later, I have no idea who the top performer of the week was. No one particularly “wow”-ed me, but everyone who escaped the bottom three was solid.

David Cook (thankfully okay after being taken to the hospital Tuesday night with high blood pressure and heart palpitations) arranged “Little Sparrow” himself and gave another strong performance. In my opinion, it wasn’t his best, but he continues to take risks and show off his range as a singer and is still the only Idol I can see paying money to go see.

This picture is entirely self-indulgent. Haircut = big win.

Michael Johns continued his climb back into the top tier with a gorgeous bluesy take on “It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right.” He was pitch perfect and charismatic (so much that I’m choosing to ignore the ascot) and I loved every second of his performance.

Yes, Michael Johns. You are all right.

Carly Smithson’s take on “Here You Come Again” was just plain great. She and Archie have the purest voices in the competition this year, and on a song like this her strengths really shine. I’m still waiting for her transcendent performance, though. It just seems like there’s still something she’s holding back and I want to see what it is! C’mon Carly!

You look like a pirate, but you sing like whoa!

I liked Jason Castro’s “Travelin’ Thru” quite a bit. It’s my favorite performance of his since “Hallelujah.” Great song choice for him and he looked incredibly at ease performing it up on stage. Plus, it was just a joy to listen to: smooth and light and pitch perfect.

That’s it. I’m totally and completely over the David Archuleta hoopla. Until he gets the same criticism as everyone else for doing the same thing week after week, I refuse to take him seriously. Yes, it was another ballad, beautifully sung…but Archie, I’m bored. Can he sing anything else? If Archie sang something up tempo would his carefully-crafted persona crumble before our eyes? I’m not convinced that he’s not a really amazing one-trick pony…and that just doesn’t cut it for me. Sorry.

Syesha Mercado, stop it with the Whitney. If you’d stuck with the milder, mellower version of “I Will Always Love You” all the way through, you would’ve been solid. But you didn’t and…mistake. That is all.

Tune in next week for Idol Gives Back, when my roommate and I will probably cry like babies through the whole damn thing.

Idol's Top 10: Elimination

Chikezie just knew his time was up. You could see it in his face the moment he stepped on stage to have one of those painful, drawn out center stage conversations with Seacrest. His face fell even further when Syesha Mercado joined him, and by the time Jason Castro (somewhat surprisingly) rounded out the bottom three, all hope was gone.

I'll miss you, Chikezie. No one's name is as fun to say.

Jason’s presence in the bottom three was akin to a slap on the wrist for his uninspired, lazy take on “Fragile.” Syesha, despite continuing to come off as uninteresting and slightly false, was coming off one of her strongest performances. With those two as company, there was just no saving Chikezie…and he knew it.

With the elimination of Chikezie (at least two weeks too early in my opinion), season seven lost one of its richest, most beautiful voices. After David Cook, Chikezie was easily my favorite Idol. I loved his infectious energy, the way he worked a stage, his brilliant smile and…the kid can sing. I’m really disappointed that I won’t get to see him take the Idol stage anymore, because you never knew what to expect.

Case in point:

Top 16 Week = the softer, beautiful ballad side of Chikezie

Top 12 Week = the stage-stompin’, rockin’ side of Chikezie

He was arguably the most versatile performer left in the Top 10. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to console myself with the knowledge that he’ll be on the tour this summer and I’ll get to see him again.

So, who dodged a bullet (because if I had my way, that’s not what the bottom three would’ve looked like)?

How on earth Ramiele Malubay didn’t go home last night is absolutely beyond me. I can’t remember a single performance of hers that was more than “just pretty good.” The judges have called her “karaoke” more times than I can count. Her song choices are boring and overdone, and she’s shown me absolutely nothing that proves she belongs on that big stage. I know she was sick this week and she’s a good singer, but if you haven’t wowed us at least once by now…

Kristy Lee Cook is on borrowed time. She knows it, we know it. As such, she responded with the shrewdest song choice I’ve seen all year. Who’s going to vote out someone singing “God Bless the USA”? I rolled my eyes skyward when I found out what she was performing and was instantly annoyed that I’d have to listen to her sing another week…but it was a freakin’ brilliant move on her part. And, as much as I hate to admit it, it didn’t suck. Definitely her strongest performance on the big stage. Idol is turning into Dollywood next week, and Kristy Lee’s country twang would suggest that she’ll coast through next week as well. Will no one put me out of my misery? Please? I will give you a cookie.

I was only wowed by two people last night: Michael Johns and my rocker boy David Cook (who is now the desktop background on my work computer, by the way).

Welcome to the big stage, Michael! You finally made it. After starting on a suicide slide way back in the semis (and, let’s face it, pretty much coasting through on your dreaminess) you busted out a “We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions” medley that brought your plummet to a screeching halt. The song choice was perfect, the performance was busting with charisma (I don’t find him particularly attractive and I have to admit, he made me a little weak in the knees) and your vocals were strong and clear with just a hint of roughness around the edges. Awesome, awesome, AWESOME. If you can keep this momentum going into next week, you might climb back in to my Top 5.

When Simon Cowell calls your performance “amazing,” I don’t honestly know what else there is to say…but I’ll do my best.

I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it: David Cook is the smartest Idol contestant this year by far. He knows what he’s capable of and he obviously has musical intelligence in spades. As a result, his arrangements - borrowed or not, he knows where to find them and how to make them work - are fantastic, often surprising, and yet still work comfortably with his slightly raw, emo-rock voice. His song choices, though not always what you’d expect (I was worried when I found out he’d be doing “Billie Jean”) are spot on and his voice, though it sometimes takes him a line or two to really get going, is strong and absolutely gorgeous.

Woo gratuitous shot of the pretty!

He’s a bit of a smug bastard, but not so much that it makes him unappealing. Indeed, if you want to be a rock star I think you have to be a bit cocky…it’s part of the persona. Overall, I think he’s the strongest “complete package” in the Idol crop this year. With this performance of “Billie Jean,” (on top of “Hello” in the semis) and his two Beatles Week songs, he’s made himself the singer to beat.

Idol's Top 11

Kristy Lee Cook murdered my absolute favorite Beatles song.

I’m having a hard time thinking anything beyond that. I was slack-jawed in disbelief the entire time, from the strangely building 80s-esque techno build up of the background sound (I really expected there to be a musical crescendo followed by lasers…and I’m kind of disappointed that none of that actually happened) to the odd choice of power notes. I should’ve seen it coming: after her “hoedown in Hell” performance of “Eight Days A Week” last Tuesday, how could anyone think she’d do better with “You’ve Got To Hide Yourself Away”? I suppose it was partly my own fault, but my morbid curiosity got the best of me. Now I have to play the real version over and over and over again until the memory of Kristy Lee dulls a little. It’s going to take a while.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen (wow, that's hard to spell)

I’ll focus on something else. I did spend some time wondering why the shoulder pads were missing from her hideous sheer-sleeved monstrosity of a prom dress from 1989. I also spent a few seconds hoping there was a (possibly malfunctioning) trap door in the floor of the stage (I imagined it was somewhere to the left of her and tried to use my mind powers to get her to take just a few steps). But none of that was enough to stop her from tainting the memory of “You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away” for me forever. Thankfully, she was so absolutely horrendous and dull that there’s no way she’ll be back next week…right, America? RIGHT?!

That’s out of the way *huge sigh of relief*. Now I can move on to everyone else.

Does anyone else think that Amanda Overmyer sometimes gets drowned out by the band? I’m not sure if it’s because she sings in such a low register (and thus not as loudly) or if she just sings notes so close to what the band is actually playing that they blend together, but I can’t hear half of what she’s singing any given week. I should also possibly explore the possibility that I just plain can’t hear certain notes, but…I’d rather not depress myself, so I’m going to pretend that’s not a possibility. Anyway, I actually liked Amanda a lot better this week than I have the past few weeks. Her voice, which normally grates on me after about 10 seconds, never did while she was covering “Back in the USSR.” Plus, I had a lot of fun watching here. Whatever it was that turned her into a sourpuss (to borrow a word from my grandma) has thankfully disappeared and she turned in one of the most engaging, entertaining and charismatic performances of the evening. Obviously, she had technical problems, but I think she’ll stick around until next week. Despite Simon’s comment that she’s in danger of becoming “boring,” I think the “anti-Idol Idol” niche she inhabits is still novel enough to keep her around a couple more weeks.

David Archuleta remembered all the words to his song this week! To quote Chikezie’s mom “Praise Jesus!” (or the diety of your choice, in interest of religious equality). Archie’s starting to freak me out because I can’t, for the life of me, figure the kid out. He’s a 17-year-old cartoon character. Dude, he’s the human incarnation Snuggle from the old Downey ads…with a slightly deeper voice. He’s so humble an inoffensive that he offends me. I just don’t believe that he’s real, and it’s really off-putting. His version of “The Long and Winding Road” was technically superior to any of the other performers last night (though I thought he overdid the melisma) and those sparkling eyes and adorable smile pretty much win the whole world over in 3.2 seconds. But will he ever pick songs and sing them in a manner that is age-appropriate? You can’t be big, cuddly stuffed animal and a 40-year-old crooner at the same time. My brain can’t handle it. Still, he’s got a beautiful voice that I love to listen to and he rebounded nicely from his major blunder last week.

I’m starting to think that Michael Johns just really isn’t all that smart. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together wouldn’t have even fathomed trying to condense a long, complex song like “A Day In The Life” into 90 seconds. Even if he sang it beautifully (which he didn’t) it still would’ve been a bit of a patchwork mess. The funny thing is, like with Amanda, I really enjoyed listening to him sing this week…though their performances were technically subpar (I think I may be a bit “off” myself). I’m not a big fan of Michael’s voice in general – something about it turns me off – but I liked it a lot last night. Random aside: the guy walks like one of his legs is shorter than the other. Seriously, he has a strange lean to the right thing going on…what’s that about? He’s crap at choosing the right songs and is still on the fast track to booting himself out of the competition…just not this week.

Everyone took acid during the break between Michael and Brooke White. And I include Little Miss Vanilla in that accusation as well. It is the only way I can even begin to explain away what happened next. She got up and did a wobbly 360 (with a “Woo!” thrown in for good measure) exactly like that one aunt in your family who gets drunk at all the family gatherings and decides to dance when there’s no music. Then she approached the microphone stand and did what I can only assume was part of a choreographed dance routine she learned while on the drill team in junior high. Hand gestures and offbeat swaying and shoulder rolls and…I can’t possibly go on. Through it all, she looked ridiculously bright and shiny and happy and…yellow. Fugly dress on top of everything, Brooke. Shame. To top it all off, apparently Brooke is quite the chatterbox. She hasn’t really been criticized across the board before (that I can recall) and wow…thank goodness because the girls never shuts up. I wanted Seacrest to go over and clamp a hand over her mouth to stop all of the word vomit. Just no, Brooke. I’m annoyed that even Simon couldn’t bring himself to tell you to be quiet (which he would’ve done to any of the other contestants who tries to pull the same thing). He did, however, decide to describe her performance as “wet”…whatever that means. Nobody made any sense at all.

Watching this sober is scary. Seriously.

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I’ve said nary a thing about her singing anywhere in the giant paragraph above…it was passable. The end.

David Cook is definitely a bit of a smug, cocky little mofo (at least on stage)…and I love it. I’m not gonna lie. His performances are often a bit weird for me because they’re so dichotomous: he’s magnetic and he knows how to work a stage and have a good time, but he often seems disconnected from the audience and/or the song he’s singing. It’s incredibly strange and I have a hard time trying to explain it. I honestly believe (despite my obvious bias) that he and Archie have been the two consistently good performers going all the way back to Hollywood Week. His “Daytripper” was easily one of the Top 3 of the night, and hopefully he quieted some nitpicky haters by declaring in his package that he borrowed most of the arrangement from Whitesnake. The performance was fantastic, from vocals to instruments to his stage presence (I personally had no problem with the vocoder). The thing with Rocker Boy is, during almost all of his songs, I can actually picture him singing them to a sold out arena. Out of all of the Idols, he’s the only one I can picture (right now, at least) actually finding success outside the Idol bubble. Also, his segment was responsible for the most hilarious part of the show (second best – Ryan very obviously shilling the iPhone and then the camera cutting to the judges holding out their Coke cups in mock salute):

*Ryan nearly knocks David in the head with the mic stand and David mock falls over*

Ryan: Sorry about that…here let me grab you.

David: *gets up* I’m good, thanks.

My roommate and I had to pause the Tivo because we were in hysterics.

I just re-watched Carly Smithson’s performance of “Blackbird” and man, was Simon extra cranky and harsh last night. Usually, underneath the surliness he actually does have good, solid advice to offer…but last night he was just awful (and gave slightly nonsensical critique) to most of the performers. “Blackbird” is one of the most redone and overdone songs ever in life, but she did a beautiful job with it. It wasn’t anything groundbreaking, arrangement-wise, but vocally it was strong and clear and really just gorgeous. Carly has an amazing voice and I hope she continues to display her range, vocally and musically. I think I underrated her in the semis; she grows on me more every week.

I need to break here for a sec and talk about Simon. His insistence last night that certain people were becoming “boring” and “predictable” mystified me. People like David Cook and Amanda have very specific singing styles. If they were to deviate from them too much, they’d sound horribly out of place (and probably get torn apart by Simon for sounding “a mess”). This isn’t to say that they’re two-dimensional and one-note, rather that they should know their limitations as a singer and put on a performance that stretches the bounds of their abilities but doesn’t break them. Why is it a bad thing that Amanda knows better than to try and sing a ballad? Why would you want David Cook to do something to make him sound more like, say, David Archuleta? Someone please explain this to (admittedly) a music novice because I just don’t get it.

We need to have a talk, Jason Castro. It’s “Mih-chelle,” not “Mee-chelle.” That drove me NUTS. Also, you dialed your stoner persona up to 11 last night and that was just a wee bit too much. You looked sort of silly throughout that entire song, almost like you were going, “Hee, lookit me I’m singing in French…oh, now back to English. Singing in different languages sure is neat!” I think you get lost in your own little world when you sing, which is fine because you’re so charismatic that the audience is drawn in anyway, but this was just…weird. I’ll give you this: I really, really dislike “Michelle” but, in the vein of Michael and Amanda, I really enjoyed listening to you sing it. People love you so much that you’ll be fine for next week, but…get yourself under control, dude. Either smoke a little more pot or a little less, but find that balance or people are going to start to notice that serial killer smile and run away from their TV sets in terror.

What a loveable, goofy mofo. I'll have what he's having.

Holy pleasant surprise Batman! Syesha Mercado, way to rebound. She did a really nice, understated job with “Yesterday.” She couldn’t resist throwing in a few power notes (and we know that she can hit them and hit them well) that rang a little false for me, but overall it was a really solid performance. I think it’s telling, however, that while I managed to write huge paragraphs on almost everyone else…I’ve run out of things to say about Syesha four sentences in. I don’t think she has much staying power because she doesn’t have that much of a presence. Of everyone that Simon has ever called “forgettable,” I agree with him most about Syesha. I just don’t care that much about her.

I really, really want everyone to stop hatin’ on Chikezie. Next to David Cook, he has my favorite voice in the competition – smooth and velvety and just a joy to listen to. He always looks like he’s having fun and he’s almost completely fearless when it comes to trying a semi-“out there” song or an unusual arrangement. As a result he’s been really hit or miss, but there’s something about him that I really, really love. He gave two separate performances last night, which was rather weird. “I’ve Just Seen A Face” is another of my favorite Beatles songs, and when he started out by turning it into a ballad, my brain rebelled. But as I listened, the “nononononono” mantra in my head quieted and I fell in love with the slowed-down version. And then came the harmonica (which he’d only learned a couple days before), which led into part two of the hoedown that Kristy Lee Cook started last week. Possibly the most awkward musical transition that I have ever seen. Here’s the thing, though: the up tempo second half of the song was pretty freakin’ good as well. I enjoyed it a lot. However, he should’ve picked one or the other (finite decisions are your friend, Chikezie).

I love Chikezie...join me on the bandwagon.

I’m sad that I have to write about Ramiele Malubay last…because I was told the last spot is the “pimp spot,” reserved for a top performance. I don’t have many positive things to say about her performance (or her appearance, but that’s of lesser importance). Ramiele just can’t seem to help sounding like she belongs in a karaoke bar. I do karaoke a lot, and I’ve met several “karaoke professionals” who literally spend their evenings going from bar to bar singing. They’re (comparatively) very good singers in the karaoke universe…but they don’t belong on a stage with paying customers. Ramiele lacks “that certain something” that you need to be a good performer. Her voice just isn’t powerful or mesmerizing enough to really enrapture a crowd. She sings well, don’t get me wrong, but she’s uninspired. I think she’ll make it through this week (barely) but not much longer.

Overall, this was an incredibly strange night. Everyone seemed just a bit off kilter…was there a full moon last night? So odd. If Kristy Lee Cook doesn’t get kicked off…I may do something drastic.

Idol's Top 12

Idol fanatics have been telling me for two months that the big stage changes everything. I reacted the same way a guy who's trying to get in your pants does when you ask him if a dress looks good on you: "oh of course, uh-huh, sure it does." Right words, entire lack of conviction.

Last night I got smacked in the face with how wrong I was, because the new Idol stage sent 32 million people Through the Looking Glass, to a land where Chikezie blew the roof off the place and Archie missed music cues and forgot the words to 'We Can Work It Out" three times. Because I've been ill for the past few days, I still don't completely believe what I saw. Thankfully, YouTube is there to remind me.

Wow. I'm still lacking the proper words to describe Chikezie's "She's a Woman." It gave me chills and made my jaw hit the floor. Phenomenal. The arrangement was inspired, his energy was infectious and it was easily the best performance of the night. What a way to introduce yourself to the big stage, Chikezie. I hope this performance silences all of the haters who have been clamoring for him to get booted the past two weeks.

Big win, Chikezie. BIG.

David Archuleta, on the other hand, fell flat on his face on the big stage. And, I'll say it, I'm not entirely convinced the timing of his meltdown wasn't a bit too perfect. The semifinals set him on the flight path of Icarus: he seemed to be in danger of peaking too early and coming crashing back down to earth. His performance was an absolute mess, but I'm not surprised that he was still grinning like an idiot after it was all over.

He missed notes. Forgot the lyrics. Finally looked 17 and vulnerable. All of that, and he still probably got the most votes last night. Because his failure last night brought him firmly back to Earth in the best way possible: it proved he wasn't superhuman. By floundering his way through Stevie Wonder's (I'm sorry, I thought this was Beatles night, my mistake) version of "We Can Work it Out" showed people that he was normal after all. And everyone ate it up. Yes, Paula (!!) took him to task for forgetting the lyrics and Simon rightfully called it "a mess," but they said it all with a smile and a pat on the back and a "We still love you, you little cutie pie!" tacked onto the end.

I don't know if he was genuinely so nervous on the big stage that he choked or if it was a cleverly-concocted stunt, but either way, Archie wins. I'm both fascinated and appalled; I can't wait to see how far this schtick takes him.

If God has ears (and was listening last night instead of, I dunno, working on that world hunger thing) Kristy Lee Cook's version of "Eight Days a Week" will take her no further than tomorrow. I cannot think of a strong enough word for how completely horrendous, horrifying and completely awful her performance was (though those are three good adjectives to start with). I think she should be forced to hand write apology letters to Paul and Ringo for turning the song into what they force country music haters to listen to on the way down to Hell.

Seriously, it kind of sounded like the music they play in the freaky boat tunnel in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The banjos and fiddles and country twang just kept getting faster and faster and Kristy Lee stood in the middle of it all looking slightly lost and slightly maniacal at the same time. What a ridiculously misguided decision...I cannot describe how much I hated it. Worst thing I've seen all year (and considering I saw Amanda sing "Carry On My Wayward Son," that's saying something).

The other Cook in the competition, however, translated nicely to the big stage. David Cook, looking like someone rubbed a balloon on the back of his head right before he went onstage (I generally have no problem with his hair, but last night it was just badbadBAD), tore it up with an uptempo rock take on "Eleanor Rigby."

David's charisma levels wax and wane from week to week, which is something he'll have to work on. But I'm glad he proved that he could still give a command performance without his guitar in front of him. He continues to prove that he's one of the most talented people in the Top 12, and it brings me great joy.

Hey David..."Why Don't We Do it In The Road?" Heh, get it?

Chikezie, Rocker Boy, Archie and Kristy Lee got extreme reactions from me. Everyone else fell somewhere in the middle.

"Jason Castro is for people who find Jack Johnson too edgy." In one sentence my friend Mike perfectly summed up the dreadlocked folk singer. I actually enjoyed his rendition of "If I Fell." It was a little too breathy for me, but I liked that he tweaked the song here and there to make it his own but not so much as to suck the soul out of it (pay attention, Kristy Lee!). He continues to show every note when he sings on his face (when reaching for the high notes the eyebrows shoot up and the shoulders tense) which is incredibly distracting and annoying. Jason has a good vibe and a nice tone to his singing voice...I kind of wish he'd do something a little more uptempo though.

Carly Smithson screamed and stomped around a lot in a bright blue mini dress. Next to Chikezie, she was the performer who brought the most to the stage: charisma, energy and the powerful voice. I thought it was a bit overdone, though. It felt like she was trying just a little bit too hard. In fact, I went back and re listened to her performance with my eyes closed, just so I could listen. The vocals, which were just fantastic, got sort of lost in her performance and that's a shame. I felt like she got drowned out by her backup singers a couple times as well. The performance, while strong, was just a bit off balance for me.

I really didn't like Brooke White last night. I understand that many amazing singers have imperfect voices, and that often those imperfections elevate a certain song to another level (please see Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah" for reference). However, I thought Brooke butchered "Let It Be." She was cute sitting at the piano and I understand the vibe she was going for...I just think she fell flat. The imperfect notes and inflections made me wince, to the point that I wondered if she was recovering from laryngitis. It wasn't horrible, but I really, really didn't enjoy listening to it. Just no.

At least Brooke was interesting, which is more than I can say for Ramiele Malubay and Syesha Mercado. I can't really remember what either of them sang, just that it was dull and completely unremarkable. They're both in trouble, especially since this isn't the first time they've been accused of such.

I have nothing more to say about Amanda Overmyer that I haven't already said. Except to second my roommate's suggestion that she should've performed "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?" Heh.

I can't decide whether Michael Johns or David Hernandez is more likely to join the two girls in the bottom three. Michael's "Across the Universe" halted his semifinals downward spiral...a bit. I thought he ave a stronger performance here than anywhere in the last three weeks, but his voice still really doesn't impress me. Perhaps it's a case of not being able to find the right song, but at this point, dude, I'm not willing to cut you that much slack. David, on the other hand, way over performed. He was trying too hard and it was painfully obvious. He's got IT (the vocals and the charisma and *ahem* the dancing ability) but he's overselling it. Pull back a notch, dude.

I'll forget you as soon as you're gone. Sorry.

I think Syesha's going home tonight. Though it should be KristyLee (damn you, country fans!)