Whedonverse Friday: "The Cabin in the Woods"

Earlier this week, MGM acquired and greenit "The Cabin in the Woods," a thriller written by the Joss-god himself.

As far back as last July (at Comic-Con in San Diego), Whedon described the project as "a horror film to end all horror films." All other details, including loglines or any description of the plot, are being kept closely uner wraps.

Nothing he touches is bad...nothing.

Drew Goddard, formerly a writer/collaborator on the Whedon-created "Angel," co-wrote the script with Joss and will make his directorial debut on the film. Whedon will produce.

"Cabin" is the first project to be greelit by new MGM motion picture head, Mary Parent. Parent is quoted calling the script "one of the most original and clever scripts I've ever read."

~*~

Of course it is, Mary...it's got Joss' fingerprints all over it. Here's hoping the project doesn't go the wasd of "Goners" or "Wonder Woman." As a horror-phobe, I'll start mentally preparing myself to go see it now.

The Twilight Trilogy Hits The Big Screen

Since I'm currently in the middle of the third book (for the second time in just a few months), I'm ridiculously excited about the movie, which landed on the cover of EW this week.

The cover does Robert Pattinson absolutely no justice. He's MUCH better looking, and he's supposed to be ethereally beautiful in the movie...this cover is half of an epic fail. Kristen Stewart looks fabulous, however.

Twilight, the first book of the ridiculously popular trilogy by Stephenie Meyer, will be out as a feature film in December. The film stars Robert Pattinson (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) as Edward Cullen, a vampire who doesn't feed off humans, and Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, his mortal soul mate.

The books themselves have garnered Harry Potter comparisons (page-turning fantasy novels that attract readers of all ages). While I wouldn't place Meyer's novels on a pedestal anywhere NEAR that of J.K. Rowling, her books are ridiculously hard to put down and a great read...especially for a girl that loves vampires and werewolves as much as I do.

The teaser trailer.

Let the countdown begin!

Heroes Aren't Born...They're Built.

I love superheroes. My heart was stolen by the X-Men when I was eight years old. Fox debuted the X-Men animated series in their Saturday morning cartoon lineup in 1992. That same year, they also launched the Batman animated series. I fell in love with them both and watched them every weekend before I did anything else.

I learned the ropes of both universes through those television programs. Intricacies, backs stories, friends and foes, dirty little secrets, hookups, powers, etc. Eventually, I started expanding into Superman, Spiderman and the various other minor (comparatively) superheroes and super villains that existed in those universes. I picked up comics “late in life”: I didn’t read my first one until I was a sophomore in high school. However, I quickly devoured those too…mostly Batman and the X-Men with bits of Spiderman here and there.

And then the movie universe exploded with superheroes. The big screen had already seen Superman and Batman before. So studios started with Spiderman and the X-Men, making huge, special effects-laden films in groups of three. Some of them were good, some not so much. Then they rebooted both the Batman and Superman movie universes. Once they’d tackled the “Big 4,” studios moved on to more minor superheroes: Daredevil, The Hulk, Fantastic Four, Hellboy…the list is nearly endless.

I knew at least a little bit about almost all of them. But somehow, in my years and years of superhero admiration, I never heard about Iron Man. I mean sure, I knew his alter ego was Tony Stark, billionaire, and he was a self-made superhero…but beyond that? Nada. However, once I found out that Robert Downey Jr. was going to be Stark and Jon Favreau would be directing, I got a lot more excited. The teaser elevated that excitement.
The full trailer, released at the end of last week, completely did me in. I. Can’t. WAIT. May 2 needs to hurry up and get here. Like, now. I need to expand my superhero worship.

Robert and Jon, you are my heroes.

Codename: Gambit!

This is the first news I've heard on the Wolverine movie front in MONTHS (and it makes me oh-so-happy): The reason I want to move to Texas and pretend to still be in high school, aka Hottie McBadBoy (Taylor Kitsch), has been cast as Gambit in the upcoming film.

Coming to a theater near me in 2009 (woo!)

This is doubly awesome news because, as I may have mentioned above, he makes me think inappropriate thoughts. Also, he will be playing Gambit, one of my absolute favorite X-Men characters (who was inexcusably absent from the three previous X-Men movies). Gambit has such a rich back story and his entanglement with Rogue was so epic that I'm still not completely over the fact that Singer and Ratner didn't see fit to have him show up at all.

Oh, Remy...you got the shaft. But not anymore!

But it's okay, because this egregious oversight has finally been corrected. Wolverine also stars (besides Hugh Jackman, naturally) Liev Schreiber, Ryan Reynolds and Will.I.am and will start shooting this month in Australia.

There is so much pretty in this movie I kind of don't know what to do with myself.

If the script sucks (David Benioff, I'm looking at you), I will crack some skulls.

We named the dog Indiana...

I have no words. Just this:

27 Dresses and Cloverfield: A Mashup Moviegoing Experience

I have to say, I felt very odd at about 11:30pm on Friday night…for two reasons. One, I’d just finished seeing “Cloverfield” and was desperately trying not to lose my dinner (and the Whatchamacalit I had in the theater) in the trash can on the Promenade. Two, I watched “Cloverfield” immediately after seeing “27 Dresses.” The contrast threatened to make my head explode. Oh wait…that was probably the 74 minutes of jerky, nausea-inducing handheld camera footage.

I have no problems admitting that I heart rom-coms. I have the ability to distinguish between the good (While You Were Sleeping, When Harry Met Sally) and the awful (Music and Lyrics is the most recent example that springs to mind). I just don’t always care. Nearly all romantic comedies are fairly paint-by-number. There’s a formula, people. Deal with it. Yes, the fact that the male and female leads meet, fall in love, have 12,000 problems, break up and make up in the span of two weeks (or less) is way beyond unbelievable. That’s not the point. Stop critiquing these films like you expect them to be cinematic masterpieces and then be shocked and appalled when they fall far short of “Citizen Kane” standard. I will stop my rant here before it becomes three pages long (you’re welcome). I will say, though, 27 Dresses was enjoyable for the following reasons:

There is no bad here. Trust me.

- James Marsden. Does anyone remember “Second Noah”? Anyone at all (besides me)? Marsden has been on my radar since then, but hasn’t had a role that impressed me even one iota until this year, when he busted out in “Enchanted” and “27 Dresses.” I got to stare at him a lot, which was nice. More importantly, he brought a refreshing snark and cynicism to Kevin Doyle that made the movie that much more enjoyable.

- Holy crap! The female lead isn’t in PR or advertising. I feel like every freakin’ “modern woman” in rom-coms has the same job. She’s an assistant! At an urban, environmentally-friendly small business! The novelty! (I’ll stop now).

- Judy Greer. I wanted to wax poetic about how Judy Greer makes everything better, but my friend and fellow blogger already did that for me http://danielletbd.blogspot.com/2008/01/get-outta-my-dreams-and-onto-my-tv.html. I’ll just add that Greer can make anything better. She continues to fly way too far under the Hollywood radar despite her ability to turn derivative crap into comedy gold.

- They sang Bennie and the Jets, people! BENNIE AND THE JETS! And they weren’t half bad!

- The movie taught me to never, ever have a theme wedding, get married underwater, or pick a bridesmaid dress color that would make my closest girlfriends want to kill me. All good lessons.

I left “27 Dresses” and wandered out to Santa Monica to meet my roommate for “Cloverfield.” We’d been looking forward to seeing the movie for weeks and weeks (and I’m neither a monster movie fan nor a horror/scary movie fan at ALL).

This is the only time they are EVER standing still.

10 minutes in, I was fine. I was patiently waiting to get through the little bit of exposition and setup at the farewell party so I could get to the monsters and explosions and death and destruction. 20 minutes in, I’m still pretty okay. At the half hour mark, I’m ready to kill myself. My head hurts, my stomach is rolling, and I have to keep closing my eyes to calm the threat of something REALLY BAD happening (to me, not the people on the screen. I know those mofos are goners). When I manage to open my eyes here and there, I see the following:

- Person after person fleeing the theater, hands over mouths (I think I lost count at 10)

- People running

- Things exploding

- Marlena exploding (that was pretty sweet…the noise was AWESOME)

- Spider babies eating people’s faces

- Views of NYC destruction that made me compare the “Cloverfield” monster chaos to the footage of 9/11 that is stored forever in my mind

I HEARD a lot of stuff. Friends and coworkers assure me that if I’d seen the whole thing I would’ve hated it. Huge plot holes, things made no sense, blah blah blah. I liked it because of the fresh perspective. I like that we have no idea what the monster is or where it comes from (or why it’s there at all). I like the first person, on the ground, real time perspective of the chaos and destruction. Grounding the action (literally) made it that much more compelling a film. The characters were caricatures, which was fine because they weren’t the point and they all died anyway. The experience was the point, and it was a hell of an experience. They threw in the pseudo romance subplot because if there wasn't some semblance of another story, people would be bitching, "That's it? Just people running from a big monster? That's all the movie is?" Deal.

In short, "Cloverfield" is a pretty sweet movie that I can never, ever see again. Or I will quite possibly die.

"Juno" is due this holiday season

"Little Miss Sunshine's got nothin' on me"

It seems pretty clear that “Juno” will be the undeniable darling of 2007 indie cinema (stealing the crown from last year’s winner, “Little Miss Sunshine”). It’s the kind of movie that has critics falling all over themselves to praise it and people falling all over each other to go see it (and say they’ve seen it, and discuss its pros and cons endlessly).

So, here begins my praise. My favorite part of Juno was Mr. and Mrs. MacGuff (J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney). Too often in movies, parents are shown as the “explanation” for why their teenagers drink/smoke/do drugs/get pregnant. Mom and Dad are usually abusive, neglectful, druggies/boozers (the first generation) or just plain oblivious. The audience is supposed to nod along, agreeing that this is acceptable explanation for their children’s behavior. Brenda and Mac MacGuff are sharp, attentive and loving parents who handle the news that their daughter is pregnant like, well, adults (no screaming and wailing “where did we go WRONG?!” here).

The MacGuffs are actual parents, full of beleaguered love, and it’s amazing to me how refreshing that is. Through the movie, they act the way I expect my own parents would have if I’d gotten pregnant at 16 (though I doubt my mother would’ve had the pluck to comically rip into the sonogram technician for daring to pass judgment on her daughter the way that Janney does in one scene). I think the biggest laugh of the whole movie was when Juno waddles into the kitchen, eight months pregnant, and her dad (barely glancing up from his paper) remarks “Hey there, big, puffy version of Junebug.”

Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner are fantastic as a 30-something married couple with polar opposite attitudes about “growing up.” Bateman’s Mark is a guy desperately trying to hold on to the hipness of his youth as he’s being dragged, silently kicking and screaming, into the confining role of upper middle class suburban fatherhood. Juno finds common ground in their shared love of music, guitar-playing and slasher movies. They enjoy spending time together, seemingly oblivious to the vaguely inappropriate nature of their relationship (they always hang out when Mark’s wife isn’t around). In him, Juno sees someone who still manages to “stay cool” despite all of his adult responsibilities. In her current situation (as the “cautionary whale”), seeing someone who can, at least on the surface, pull off that dichotomy appeals to her. Mark enjoys her mild version of hero worship; he desperately wants to still be seen as young and hip. Juno’s repeated visits serve as affirmation that he’s still relevant.

Don't be fooled: He's not really a grownup

Mark obviously thinks (or hopes) that she has a little crush on him, something that Juno, despite her grownup situation, is too naïve to see. The scene where Mark and Juno’s disparate viewpoints on their relationship comes to a head is one of the best in the movie (I don’t want to spoil it; it’s that good).

I don’t know why I was surprised at how great Jennifer Garner is in this movie. I’m still trying to figure out if her straitlaced, proper Vanessa really was that prim and uptight, or whether she mold herself into that persona because she thought that’s who she had to be in order to be seen as a “real mom.” Her desperation for a child is quiet, heart wrenching and consuming; she feels incomplete unless she’s a mother. I’m finding that I can’t pick the right words to describe just how amazing she was in this role. How about this? Just watch the scene where she runs into Juno in the mall and kneels down to try to talk to the baby that will soon be hers (but isn’t, really). When it’s over, you tell me if you can put into words the mesmerizing job she did as Vanessa Loring.

Enough has been said about Ellen Page and Michael Cera, so I’m not going to add much to it. Page does a great job at delivering the quirky, pop culture-laden dialogue written for her. In the hands of a lesser actress, lines like “silencio, old man” or “I’m going to call Women Now because they help women now” would come off as cheesy and trite. Cera is great (and everyone lauds his comic timing and wry humor endlessly) but I wish he’d play a different character for once. I’d rather an actor be great and layered instead of brilliant but one-note. To me, Cera is the latter…so I hope he picks something that allows him to stretch a bit for his next role.

From stripper to writer of snappy one-liners...who knew?

The dialogue is snappy and full of hip lingo and thoroughly modern one-liners that, thankfully, only occasionally fall flat. I really think, perhaps counterintuitively, that writing quirky, modern comic dialogue (though it’s supposedly more the way people talk nowadays) is actually one of the hardest things to do. It’s so easy for it to try too hard and end up sounding cheesy and hollow. This happens occasionally in “Juno,” most notably for me in the scene in the drugstore where Page’s Juno chats with the drugstore clerk (Rainn Wilson) about pregnancy tests. But overall, Diablo Cody’s script is a real achievement: it takes a story told time and time again with familiar characters, turns it on its head and then, when you’re not looking, turns it on its head again.

My one big complaint: the music. It was overly folky, self-indulgent and incredibly distracting. UGH. I hated that the movie ended the way that it did (I the to spoil things too much, so apologies for my vagueness). I get it. You’re an indie film. Even your music is quirky and almost painfully hip. That doesn’t necessarily make it good. Just FYI.

Sex and the City - now bigger (and better?)

Fans of "Sex and the City" rejoice, for the teaser trailer is here:



Now, here's the thing. I like "Sex and the City" in spite of many things. In spite of the fact that, most of the time, I think what they're wearing is pretty freakin' atrocious looking. In spite of the fact that I can relate to about 2.5% of what went on in the series. And, most of all, in spite of the fact that I think the main character is one of the most unlikeable characters I've ever come across.

This, to me, means that this show has some sort of magical power that cannot possibly be understood by my feeble little mind. The movie probably will too. And I will go see it. Though I remain unconvinced that most shows actually NEED to be made into movies - especially ones that got 5-7 seasons to tell their story on the small screen. You ended it once; why start it up all over again and end it AGAIN? (Yes, I know the answer is "because it will make us lots of money." I'm not an idiot, but that doesn't make it artistically RIGHT. Art above all! Damn the man! *coughahem*)

Something like "South Park" or "The Simpsons" making a movie is different because these shows were still on the air when the movies were made. Thus, their stories were ongoing. A movie like "Serenity" is also an exception because "Firefly," the series it was derived from, got canceled in the middle of its first season and thus had no satisfying conclusion.

So, in short: "Sex and the City: The Movie" is totally and completely unnecessary. However, that will totally not stop me from standing in line to buy a ticket in May 2008. Because, as Depeche Mode says, I "just can't get enough."

Behind the Scenes: The Final Shot in "Gone Baby Gone"

Double the Affleck, double the fun

One of the cooler perks of my job is the ability to see free movies. I saw Gone Baby Gone on Saturday night.

Before anything else, I would like to present to you my interpretation of the final shot (this won’t really spoil anything as I don’t describe anything IN the shot at all).

~*~

Ben Affleck: Aaaaand…action!

Voice in Ben Affleck’s head: Hmm…dude. I’m hungry. I could really go for a sandwich. That would be completely delicious right now.

Ben Affleck: That’s an awesome idea.

*Ben Affleck wanders off to craft service and prepares himself a nice pastrami sandwich. He sits down and is about to take a bite*

Voice in Ben Affleck’s head: Oh, crap. We forgot to say “cut.” That shot is still rolling!

Ben Affleck: Damnit!

*runs back to set and mercifully stops the shot*

First AD: Um, Ben…should we cut that down in post?

Ben Affleck: What?

Voice in Ben Affleck’s Head: Pastraaaaaaami.

Ben Affleck: No. Just stick it in. It’s a good shot. Quality. Money. Print it.

*runs back to sandwich*

Voice in Ben Affleck’s Head: MMM…delicious. Go Sox!

~*~

Despite my teasing above, I liked the movie a lot more than I expected to. I don’t think he fell victim to the “actor as first-time director” pitfalls of being overly self-indulgent with his filmmaking. Actually, come to think of it, I really, really liked it.

C'mon...it's got Ed Harris!

It was thoughtful, morally complex, darkly funny and genuinely disturbing and shocking. I thought Affleck told a compelling story and got great performances from his cast. My only complaint was that that the movie pulled a minor “Lord of the Rings” by very obviously ending three times. I know that a lot of movies have twists and layers and whatnot…but this didn’t feel as…seamless, I suppose…as I thought it should. It was a little too obviously “Part One, Part Two, Part Three” for me. Also, despite the fact that I mocked the last shot mercifully, I thought it was a powerful and poignant one (it just lasted a little TOO long, in my humble opinion).

I highly recommend that everyone check it out. If you have an Affleck bias (totally understandable given the last three years or so of his career) I suggest you get over it. Because this film is definitely worth seeing, and I really look forward to his next directorial effort.

Vampire Legend...

I am a vampire fanatic (I’m always tempted to say “I’m a sucker for vampires” before I remember what a bad pun that is). I’ll watch or read pretty much anything that has to do with vampirism, vampires or “things-that-go-bump-in-the-night-and-will-probably-suck-your-blood-out-while-doing-it.”

I’ve read mythology books, both modern and ancient (mentions of creatures with vampire-like features date back to Mesopotamia). I’ve seen movies from Dracula to The Hunger to The Lost Boys to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and everything in between. I worship at the altar of Joss Whedon (he of Buffy and Angel cult fame).

All you really have to do is mention that there’s a vampire in any sort of entertainment project and I’m there (this explains why I watch Moonlight. Don’t judge me; it’s an obsession and I am not completely responsible for where my urges take me). I can’t explain why. I don’t identify with them or secretly want to be one. I do not dress in black or wear a vial of blood around my neck. I have not filed down my teeth, nor am I nocturnal (though I do cop to dressing up as Buffy for Halloween when I was in high school…but that was freakin’ awesome).

It doesn’t hurt that devastatingly sexy men tend to play vampires, I suppose.



I mention all of the above because I saw the extended trailer for I Am Legend before seeing Enchanted this weekend.

The movie is based on a book which, according to Wikipedia, is about the following:

“The novel opens with the monotony and horror of the daily life of the protagonist, Robert Neville. Neville is apparently the only survivor of an apocalypse caused by a pandemic of a bacterium, the symptoms of which are very similar to vampirism. Every day he makes repairs to his house, boarding up windows, stringing and hanging garlic, disposing of vampires' corpses on his lawn and going out to gather any additional supplies needed for hunting and killing more vampires.”

I’ve watched the trailer a half-dozen times (and I saw the teaser many times as well) and…I’m just not excited. I really don’t care. This is a blockbuster, sci-fi/horror, big-ass holiday weekend movie about vampires, and all I can do is shrug my shoulders and go “eh.” I can’t put my finger on why, either. I know that CGI “creatures of the night” aren’t my favorite thing. I also like the human/demon dichotomy – the relationship between the two both internally and externally. This doesn’t seem like that kind of movie.

Still, I’m sort of let down. Friends and acquaintances have been inquiring if I’m going to “line up” to see it and gauging my degree of excitement about the impending opening day. A movie that seems tailor-made to someone of my particular predilection and I’m completely ambivalent. Guess I’ll have to look forward to Sweeney Todd instead. He’s no vampire; but there’ll be blood and death and extremely pale skin everywhere…oh my.