Reason #1024 Why America Needs to Read More

So, a friend of mine reviewed The Golden Compass last week, from the perspective of someone who’d never read the book and thus really had no idea what to expect.

I, on the other hand, love Philip Pullman’s trilogy (The Golden Compass, the Subtle Knife and the Amber Spyglass). The His Dark Materials trilogy commands a top-shelf display in my bookcase.

Run (don't walk) to Amazon.com for these. I beg you.

We both thought the movie sucked. He watched a bad movie. I watched a bad movie AND bemoaned how a great book was whitewashed, dumbed-down and made almost completely nonsensical by Chris Weitz and TPTB who decided that any religious overtones be removed.

Pullman tells a dark, complex story that offers a very clear, critical commentary on piety and the Church. Every person has a “daemon,” a talking animal spirit that can shape-change until their human companion reaches puberty, at which point they stick in one form. These “daemons” (convenient name, no?) are, in a sense, a person’s “soul” and are meant to suggest the potential for sin that exists in every human being. “Dust” is a mysterious, hard-to-see particle that sticks to adults (their daemons are conduits for it) but is absent in children. Not hard to connect the dots here: “dust” is essentially sin, the kind of sin that the free will humans develop as they mature exposes them to. In the story, the all-powerful Magesterium is bent on preventing children from ever being exposed to “dust” by severing their connection to their daemons – turning them into blank-faced, controllable pillars of goodness.

Are we all starting to see how removing all religious overtones and still trying to make a story that makes sense is an endeavor that fails before it even begins? The movie still has armored bears and daemons and dust and even a gun-toting hot air balloon pilot with a Southern drawl…but none of them have a real REASON to do what they’re doing. The Magsterium still wants to rid the world of dust and separate children from their daemons and Lyra is still trying to stop them – but the WHY is never really clear. The neutered story is a mess of characters ambling from Point A to Point B to Point C, but their reasoning for going on this madcap adventure is completely unclear and, thus, completely uninteresting. Nobody cares.

I’m sorry, but cool CGI, a polar bear fight between Ian McKellan and Ian McShane and (I can’t believe I’m saying this) even the presence of the riveting Daniel Craig couldn’t calm my indignation. This movie is NOT The Golden Compass. I refuse to accept it. The most egregious travesty? Deciding to end the movie as Iorek, Lyra, Roger and Lee Scoresby heading to see Lord Asriel. All four are happy and accomplished and the uplifting music swells in the background.

When this man can't save your movie, you know you're in trouble.

The book does not end this way. The end of The Golden Compass is jaw-dropping. An insane cliffhanger and definitely not uplifting in the slightest. But it’s beyond amazing. The ending was filmed; ultimately, the filmmakers supposedly decided to “save it for the beginning of the second film, where it would lend more emotional weight.” I believe this is code for “we realized halfway through making this movie that is sucked so badly there’s no way a sequel will ever get made, so best not end it on a cliffhanger.” A $25 million opening weekend appears to have made this a sound decision. Still, to me it was the movie’s last “screw you” to the Pullman fans who came to the movie with high hopes and left wishing they’d just stayed home and re-read the book instead.

I think everyone who paid to see this, whether they were familiar with the material or not, should be issued a refund and an apology. But the hurt is just a little greater to those like me who know what it COULD have been, if only…

Oh well. At least the movie gave us this:

Iorek Byrenson (Ian McKellan) to Lyra: You wish to…ride me?

Oh, I giggle at unintentional innuendo...to keep my tears at bay.

"Juno" is due this holiday season

"Little Miss Sunshine's got nothin' on me"

It seems pretty clear that “Juno” will be the undeniable darling of 2007 indie cinema (stealing the crown from last year’s winner, “Little Miss Sunshine”). It’s the kind of movie that has critics falling all over themselves to praise it and people falling all over each other to go see it (and say they’ve seen it, and discuss its pros and cons endlessly).

So, here begins my praise. My favorite part of Juno was Mr. and Mrs. MacGuff (J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney). Too often in movies, parents are shown as the “explanation” for why their teenagers drink/smoke/do drugs/get pregnant. Mom and Dad are usually abusive, neglectful, druggies/boozers (the first generation) or just plain oblivious. The audience is supposed to nod along, agreeing that this is acceptable explanation for their children’s behavior. Brenda and Mac MacGuff are sharp, attentive and loving parents who handle the news that their daughter is pregnant like, well, adults (no screaming and wailing “where did we go WRONG?!” here).

The MacGuffs are actual parents, full of beleaguered love, and it’s amazing to me how refreshing that is. Through the movie, they act the way I expect my own parents would have if I’d gotten pregnant at 16 (though I doubt my mother would’ve had the pluck to comically rip into the sonogram technician for daring to pass judgment on her daughter the way that Janney does in one scene). I think the biggest laugh of the whole movie was when Juno waddles into the kitchen, eight months pregnant, and her dad (barely glancing up from his paper) remarks “Hey there, big, puffy version of Junebug.”

Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner are fantastic as a 30-something married couple with polar opposite attitudes about “growing up.” Bateman’s Mark is a guy desperately trying to hold on to the hipness of his youth as he’s being dragged, silently kicking and screaming, into the confining role of upper middle class suburban fatherhood. Juno finds common ground in their shared love of music, guitar-playing and slasher movies. They enjoy spending time together, seemingly oblivious to the vaguely inappropriate nature of their relationship (they always hang out when Mark’s wife isn’t around). In him, Juno sees someone who still manages to “stay cool” despite all of his adult responsibilities. In her current situation (as the “cautionary whale”), seeing someone who can, at least on the surface, pull off that dichotomy appeals to her. Mark enjoys her mild version of hero worship; he desperately wants to still be seen as young and hip. Juno’s repeated visits serve as affirmation that he’s still relevant.

Don't be fooled: He's not really a grownup

Mark obviously thinks (or hopes) that she has a little crush on him, something that Juno, despite her grownup situation, is too naïve to see. The scene where Mark and Juno’s disparate viewpoints on their relationship comes to a head is one of the best in the movie (I don’t want to spoil it; it’s that good).

I don’t know why I was surprised at how great Jennifer Garner is in this movie. I’m still trying to figure out if her straitlaced, proper Vanessa really was that prim and uptight, or whether she mold herself into that persona because she thought that’s who she had to be in order to be seen as a “real mom.” Her desperation for a child is quiet, heart wrenching and consuming; she feels incomplete unless she’s a mother. I’m finding that I can’t pick the right words to describe just how amazing she was in this role. How about this? Just watch the scene where she runs into Juno in the mall and kneels down to try to talk to the baby that will soon be hers (but isn’t, really). When it’s over, you tell me if you can put into words the mesmerizing job she did as Vanessa Loring.

Enough has been said about Ellen Page and Michael Cera, so I’m not going to add much to it. Page does a great job at delivering the quirky, pop culture-laden dialogue written for her. In the hands of a lesser actress, lines like “silencio, old man” or “I’m going to call Women Now because they help women now” would come off as cheesy and trite. Cera is great (and everyone lauds his comic timing and wry humor endlessly) but I wish he’d play a different character for once. I’d rather an actor be great and layered instead of brilliant but one-note. To me, Cera is the latter…so I hope he picks something that allows him to stretch a bit for his next role.

From stripper to writer of snappy one-liners...who knew?

The dialogue is snappy and full of hip lingo and thoroughly modern one-liners that, thankfully, only occasionally fall flat. I really think, perhaps counterintuitively, that writing quirky, modern comic dialogue (though it’s supposedly more the way people talk nowadays) is actually one of the hardest things to do. It’s so easy for it to try too hard and end up sounding cheesy and hollow. This happens occasionally in “Juno,” most notably for me in the scene in the drugstore where Page’s Juno chats with the drugstore clerk (Rainn Wilson) about pregnancy tests. But overall, Diablo Cody’s script is a real achievement: it takes a story told time and time again with familiar characters, turns it on its head and then, when you’re not looking, turns it on its head again.

My one big complaint: the music. It was overly folky, self-indulgent and incredibly distracting. UGH. I hated that the movie ended the way that it did (I the to spoil things too much, so apologies for my vagueness). I get it. You’re an indie film. Even your music is quirky and almost painfully hip. That doesn’t necessarily make it good. Just FYI.