Wannabe what, exactly?

When I was 12 I was in love with the Spice Girls.

*waits for the laughter to die down*

You all be quiet. When "Girl Power" was still a novel idea, the Spice Girls were good, clean fun for the tween set. Before the boy band era blew up, we had Scary, Sporty, Baby, Ginger and Posh (oh, Posh). In your little group of girlfriends, everyone got assigned one of the "personas" (my self-preservation instinct has just kicked in, and is preventing from disclosing which one I always wanted to be) and you danced about and sang and flashed your girl power peace sign.

Or maybe it was just me. *ahem*

This is what they used to be about:



Recently, a new music video for one of their new songs made the rounds online:



Ladies, what happened to the fun? What happened to the smiles (okay, from everyone but Posh)? Why are you sitting around in your lingerie looking pouty? Are you trying to prove how grown up and (still thin and hot, thankyouverymuch) you are?

I was way more excited than someone my age should be that you were reuniting for a World Tour. I wanted to get tickets in the worst way (the 12-year-old inside of me occasionally still runs the show...usually when we're talking ice cream or superheroes).

But if this tour is going to be 90 minutes of the women I see in the second video with none of the bubbly effervescence of the original incarnation...I'm going to have to give the whole thing one big pass. I'll stick with my awesome memories of dancing around my living room pretending to be Scary Spice (damnit, I gave it away).